Tags: Published On: Friday, August 28th, 2020 Comments: 13
Hi guys,
It’s been a while since I posted, so I thought I’d give you an update, if you aren’t following my day-to-day on Instagram.
How are you doing?
I genuinely care, so please let me know in the comments or via private message. If I didn’t care I would have skipped to the “me-part” after “hi guys”.
Now, the me-part:
– I have been incredibly busy, and for the first time since the beginning of the pandemic, also very depressed. The isolation and lack of human touch has hit me hard. I am struggling with that. This whole thing seems surreal, I feel as if time has stopped and yet moved at the speed of light, but I am stuck in the limbo of not knowing which one is true. I am very tired.
– The social and political state of this country, also, is draining me. I am scared, I am angry, I am disappointed. I feel cheated, in a way, for having chosen America as my country; but at the same time, I have found myself surprisingly committed to doing my part to achieve the change I want, the change we need and deserve.
– I have been volunteering for Nithya Raman, who is running in November for city council in District 4, against the incumbent David Ryu. I know Nithya, Benmont and I believe in her, in her genuine love for Los Angeles and in her skills to make it a place that works for everyone, not just for people like me. We hosted a wonderful Q&A on Ben’s Instagram a few weeks ago, check it out here.
How do I know that she is the one? The reasons are many (just look at her plan): but the thing that I can tell you is that, unlike Mr. Ryu, funded among the others by PAMA Management and Police Unions, there is no money involved in Raman’s campaign. That’s how I trust her genuine call to service.
In order to help her campaign I am selling some pretty cool clothes of mine on Poshmark; some are still available, all the proceeds will go to her campaign, and Benmont and I will match the total. We will donate it all. Check it out here, go shop my closet:
– I have also been doing phone banking for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, and what warms my heart is the response I receive from people. They often don’t have much time when I call (dinnertime or weekend) and yet they care, they take the time to talk, and they thank me for my service. I don’t need to be thanked, but I love to hear that people do care. I don’t watch much TV, but I know that media tend to not show that. This gives me hope.
– I have finished my cook book/ essay collection, and there is currently one agent reading it.
– I have been having a lot of fun filming my recipes on Instagram, and imagining myself on set. I love it and I think I am a natural at it. Ben and I have been guests on a beautiful show called Quarantine Kitchen, hosted by Reverb. You can watch it here, if you missed it.
– Instagram to Table (my show) is going great, and yet I often find myself frustrated with the numbers. People keep telling me that to be noticed, represented, picked, I must have bigger numbers. I post quality content, I have created a beautiful community, and yet the numbers go up very, very slowly. I ask myself why, and I beat myself up.
See, I spent more than half my life obsessed with the decreasing numbers on a scale, with the decreasing numbers of the calories on my plate, in order to “be seen”, and now it looks like the only thing that matters “to be seen” is the increasing number of followers on Instagram. But when I am cooking and sharing it with you I am at my happiest, so I let go of those numbers, and I focus on what matters, my happiness at the end of the day, and whether I did something good to help another person be happy as well.
I don’t have the “Verified” checkmark on a social media, but I give it to myself in life.
– Catherine is great. I love her more every day. She is my light. She is so smart, so bright, so willful and so funny. She is gorgeous, bilingual, strong, perfect. I was blessed with her coming into the world almost 3 (can you believe it?) years ago.
– And speaking of family and relationships…oh they are difficult these days, all of them: those forced with distance and those forced with presence. Every marriage is difficult during these times, isn’t it?
Yesterday, Catherine, Ben and Elis went to Target. So for the first time in I don’t even remember how long, I was at home alone. I wasn’t feeling well, hormones and migraine…but I was alone, and I felt free. I didn’t realize how much I had missed that feeling, the feeling of just being with myself. I am a wild animal, and I feel trapped these days. And not for lack of love, gosh, Ben is the love of my life, but I miss myself.
I miss the freedom and the space, even if there is plenty in this house. I miss the lightness and naturalness of being by myself, I miss the relaxation of the muscles of my face when I am alone, I miss choosing to be with my family, rather than having to be 24/7. This is the nature of a pandemic, we are safer at home.
So when I feel like running away I think that we are all healthy, we have all we need, we have Elis, we have love, we have great food and amazing neighbors who have become family, we have a gorgeous garden, we have AC, we have a view, we have time, and we have hope.
So how are you guys?
I hope some of this made sense to you. I hope some of these words made you feel less alone. And if nothing of what I wrote resonated, thank you for reading all the way through anyhow.
ps. Vote, and make sure your neighbors and friends do too. Volunteer, donate if you can. When I receive insults on Instagram from far-right trolls, which I do, I think: “Who cares, I can leave anytime and have a beautiful life in Europe.” And yes, I can. But I care about this country. My husband and his family are Americans, my daughter is American, my best friends are American, I am an American now. And I think that the majority of Americans isn’t racist, a bigot, a white-nationalist, a Trump supporter. I believe that the majority of this country is what I came here for.
Do you live in the giant Los Angeles District 4? Check here and vote for Nithya Raman, please.
Do you want my clothes? Click here and shop.
Do you want to know how powerful city council is in a city like Los Angeles? Click here to read how important this local election is.
I love you guys. I really do.
xo
Alice
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I’m sorry you’re struggling, and I totally get it. My husband and I are coming up on our 28th anniversary, and we had our biggest fight ever during this quarantine. Our two adult kids are quarantined with us, and we’re all mostly sick of each other. And I know it won’t always be this way, but it’s hard.
Hang in there, and so much love to you. I hope to see Benmont at another Largo show sometime.
Hey! I haven’t heard from you in a long while and wondering what’s going on. I’m not on IG as I limit my social to FB. I enjoyed your posts when they did appear. I have had a lot of the same crazy feelings that you talk about. I’m in NC but grew up in Gville way back when… the guys were getting started.
Dear Alice,
I enjoy your cooking and posts so much! I am sorry that you feel depressed, this pandemic, the civic unrest, the incompetence in the White House is very upsetting. Being creative in your cooking and writing, being outside as much as you can, and having a sweet family is so important. My husband is of Italian descent and I know a few choice swear words in that beautiful language 😍 I am definitely voting blue, I feel ( working in restaurants, for caterers, and a bakery) that the Conservatives only care for the rich. Whenever I cook or do housework I turn the music up loud and dance a little, that helps me when I’m in the doldrums. Meanwhile, don’t watch too much political news if you can help it , we can only do the best we can in our small part of the world:) Good will overcome evil every time.
Hi Alice. Really great description of your feelings during covid. I thought it was just me disliking being with my husband all the time. I, too, feel trapped and smothered. I feel like a nurse maid, cook and bottle washer (my husband is recovering from open heart surgery and mitral valve repair). I miss my friends, im sick of walking the dog, I miss going places where I feel stimulated AND I miss being alone! I find myself taking huge, deep breaths much of the time and the weather (has been over 100 everyday for the past three weeks) is wearing me down. I’m a mover (taught dance and choreography my whole life) and I miss that, too. Sometimes I find it hard to be positive but I try. I love your recipes and have tried a few. I consider myself a pretty good cook but really enjoy your “show”. I can’t wait to visit Italy one day. God bless you! And thanks for your work and posts!!
Hi Alice. Really great description of your feelings during covid. I thought it was just me disliking being with my husband all the time. I, too, feel trapped and smothered. I feel like a nurse maid, cook and bottle washer (my husband is recovering from open heart surgery and mitral valve repair). I miss my friends, im sick of walking the dog, I miss going places where I feel stimulated AND I miss being alone! I find myself taking huge, deep breaths much of the time and the weather (has been over 100 everyday for the past three weeks) is wearing me down. I’m a mover (taught dance and choreography my whole life) and I miss that, too. Sometimes I find it hard to be positive but I try. I love your recipes and have tried a few. I consider myself a pretty good cook but really enjoy your “show”. I can’t wait to visit Italy one day. God bless you! And thanks for your work and posts!!
Hi Alice. Really great description of your feelings during covid. I thought it was just me disliking being with my husband all the time. I, too, feel trapped and smothered. I feel like a nurse maid, cook and bottle washer (my husband is recovering from open heart surgery and mitral valve repair). I miss my friends, im sick of walking the dog, I miss going places where I feel stimulated AND I miss being alone! I find myself taking huge, deep breaths much of the time and the weather (has been over 100 everyday for the past three weeks) is wearing me down. I’m a mover (taught dance and choreography my whole life) and I miss that, too. Sometimes I find it hard to be positive but I try. I love your recipes and have tried a few. I consider myself a pretty good cook but really enjoy your “show”. I can’t wait to visit Italy one day. God bless you! And thanks for your work and posts!!
Thank you Alice for sharing ur personal thoughts with us. First and foremost, I have similar feelings. As a Mom of three working full time, heck over time has been challenging. I am ur biggest fan who makes every effort to watch ur show, i am the nurse 😻! I know exactly how u feel that u feel like u lost yourself. I have been feeling like this for years. During this pandemic i witnessed so much sadness, but yet The media used this disease and my profession as a political weapon. This was so hurtful and demeaning.
With that being said, I respect life. As a nurse I have seen so much sadness and pain. It truly affected me. For weeks , I was called a hero, and now I am called the most horrible names. I support the Office of the Presidency, I support President Trump. I don’t support BLM, I don’t support defunding the police, i don’t support abortion, I don’t support the destruction of the nuclear family, I don’t support burning down building, looting, rioting or terrorizing innocent people. This is what is happening and I am saddened by it. My father fought in the Korean War, and the mob disgraced these monuments. I don’t support nursing churches. This is all so sick. I don’t understand, actually i can’t comprehend it. So after weeks of being called a hero, I am now looked at like a monster for being a “Trump Supporter”. Generalizing and labeling someone is discrimination. I am so sad that you would think like this about me. I completely respect you for your beliefs,even my daughter is. Bernie supporter. I respect others beliefs, but sadly it won’t ever be reciprocated. The media protrays people like me a monster. Alice, you have been such a inspiration. Although we have never met and most likely never will…..just know you have inspired me and many more. Although we don’t have the same political beliefs, please know i am not a monster, I am not a racist…..i am a wife, mom, nurse, cat mom, and kind person. I don’t know if you will ever read this….but if you did, thank you. I am sorry i shares my personal feelings. With the political tensions in the world , i have been so sad. People need to never take for granted life. I saw so much tragedy during Covid at the hospital….life is too short to hold on to anger
Thank you Alice. I am ur biggest fan. I never liked to cook, it was because of you i am enjoying it!
Thank you for being you and sharing your life with us. God bless and Fod Speed
I’m doing ok. I work as nurse, doing home health so am so careful, tested every two weeks and worry. I’m fortunate I’m in good health and take precautions. The pandemic has definitely changed things, not as free to go out and about. Have just started seeing gamy it no physical contact which I so miss. We always were huggers and kissers but not right now. Just blessed I have a job, my family is all doing well and I have couple close friends that I can talk to. Also have developed small community of friends on Instagram
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. We’re in these crazy times together. You are a lovely lady. Stay strong. <3
Thank-you for your words Alice. You are amazing. I am blessed to live in Australia and my biggest struggle is not being able to hug my boys 24 & 26. We are in stage 4 lockdown here in Victoria and my baby lives further than 5 km so isn’t allowed to come here. So desperate to see him. I work in a Primary School and and onsite while our kids distance learn. Such a sad broken scary universe right now,but hope and an end will come I keep telling myself. Music every day ,prayers and people like you in the world make it feel ok. Good good luck with getting a new President. Lizzy
Hi Alice! I was so happy to see your post in my inbox. And you are SO kind to ask how we are all doing. You just inspired me (Queen of Introverts) to finally phone bank for the Biden/Harris campaign. It’s been on my list but I have huge anxiety about calling strangers. Thanks for the kick in the pants I needed because it’s literally the most important election of our lifetimes and for our children. I’m so excited to hear your book is done! Can’t wait to see it out to the public – I’m a whole food plant based cookbook fanatic and love your recipes and videos. Relationships have been hard during the pandemic for sure – and it’s not easy. I too, enjoyed a little home time in the beginning but now it’s really difficult. I miss freedom too…Sending you and your family big hugs and it’s so nice to keep up with your endeavors.
Forget numbers.
You have a dedicated group looking forward to Monday evenings!
Quality over quantity!
Among other things, I totally understand about those Instagram numbers. I am finally able to do what I have always wanted—-educational videos/show with puppets, with my husband supporting me all the way, and it just seems like IG is the best platform. But argh, it is so frustrating when you think you’ve turned out this amazing piece of work and only 23 people looked at it. So, oh yeah, right there with you.
(The website slot won’t accept what I type for some reason, but it is puppatoons(dot)com. )