Self-Forgiveness, Cooking Classes, and The Summer Ahead

Hi guys,

we are at it again, catching up.

May has been another whirlwind of a month, how are you?

Things on this side of town are bubbling up, I am reaching the final steps to get my food handler license, and hoping to launch the cookie company right in time for Christmas.

The cooking classes on zoom have been pure joy to prepare and develop, and so many of you are participating, which makes me very happy and eager to build on it, to improve and offer you more. Speaking of classes, you still have time to book the June class (healthy desserts) for June 22nd at 4 pm pacific (Tickets are $35 or pay what you can on Venmo @culinaryselfcare). These classes are my way of sharing with you a way of living, cooking and eating that has changed my life, and that hopefully will open for you the horizons to a new, improved relationship with food, with the source of your food, with your body, and with those your share the food with.

This month’s theme, for me, has been the ability to accept how things are: not changing them, not judging them, not being overwhelmed or imprisoned by them.

Last week, as I tried on a new bathing suit, I couldn’t help but notice the increased cellulite on my legs. I stared at my poor body in the mirror and cried.

I was angry and disappointed:

“I am 40 and I am still suffering for this crap,” I thought at first.

And then I got angry, because with all the working out, the eating healthy, and the being mindful I still couldn’t get the legs “I wanted”.

I ran downstairs, and I started drinking water with apple cider vinegar. I went back to the 17-year old me.

Coincidentally, a few days later, I was recommended a talk by Tara Brach about self-forgiveness and about our obsession with constantly working toward changing how we are, who we are. So, as I walked toward the park, one morning, I tried to answer her question: “What would change in your life, if you were different?”

“What would change in my life if I had no cellulite?” I kept repeating in my head. The answer never came. Because nothing would change.

I live my life trying to change myself. I am on a strict self-improvement diet, never quite sure whether what I do is enough to redeem myself from who I was in the past.

At times, I do. But then something happens, and I forget the lessons learned, so that I have to remind myself every day: there is nothing to change today, nothing to fix, no answer to be found. Not knowing is okay. I am okay the way I am.

Whenever I like myself, whenever I accept what is, without scrambling for answers or fixes, I am actually happy. But I do that so rarely that I seldom remember how good it feels.

I guess I will start again, tomorrow.

Updates:

LA Parent featured my Lemon Crackers Recipe HERE

My Interview with Marci Hopkins was a big success. HERE

This is the June calendar for the Instagram Live (Switching from Monday to Wednesday for this month only) and the Cooking Classes:

06/1 : Instagram Live at 5pm pacific

06/ 8: Instagram Live at 5pm pacific (no Monday)

06/ 15: Instagram Live at 5pm pacific (no Monday because I have a mammogram at 6pm)

06/22: Cooking class on zoom at 4pm Pacific ($35 for one ticket or pay what you can)

No show on June 27th because we will be flying to Italy on that day. I will update you on the Italian shows and cooking classes for July on Instagram.

Love you guys,

See you next month.