New York State of Mind, February 3rd, and Buddha’s Hand

Soundtrack to this blog: “Free Cell Block F, ‘Tis Nazi U.S.A , Charles Mingus

Hi guys!

How are you?

Today I want to start with something really cool happening: I am hosting the first of a series of culinary-literary events on BookYaYa about food, healing with it, finding comfort in it, and making sure neither of those two are unhealthy, or a luxury.

On February 3rd, at 5pm Pacific,  I will be talking to cookbook author Lisanna Wallance, and you can purchase the tickets here.

It will  be on Zoom, and I will finally be able to see all your beautiful faces. Like always, you will be part of the conversation: the chat will be open for questions, comments, and for your stories. So please join in, be part of this. It’s $10 and I promise you it will be worth it.

Moving on, I wanted to ask how your year had started, but the majority of people reading this live in the United States, so it is obvious that 2021 hasn’t really started well collectively speaking, as a country. Italy and United Kingdom follow in audience, and life isn’t blooming there either. So I’ll ask this in a more personal, individual way, and you can let me know in the comments (that I promise I will get to read): how has your January started?

January, for me, is birthday month. I love my birthday.

For years I told people that I hated it, because I didn’t like to receive presents, and because I felt uncomfortable receiving love. But now I actually look forward to my special day. I am still uncomfortable in the act of receiving, but the difference is that today I know I need it, so I take it all in. I will be ordering takeout from Crossroads Kitchen or Mozza, two of my favorite restaurants here in Los Angeles, and I will celebrate with you on the show, because this year my birthday falls on a Monday. How lucky am I, that I get to spend it with the best group of people!

I am not avoiding the important conversation about what happened on January 6th; I am scared and very angry. But a line or two in a monthly newsletter won’t help the cause. This country has clearly a preoccupying problem with white nationalist terrorism incited by a white nationalist president. This country has been having a white nationalist problem for centuries, but I have hope for justice and accountability, and also that in the two years that come, what has to be delivered by a government that has both senate and house will be delivered, to the people and for the people. If it won’t, I fear for what will come next.

I have been very confused: this isolation is really painful. I have been fantasizing about moving to New York for a while, and I am not sure whether I am really done with Los Angeles, disappointed by what it has become and how it has been led, or whether this isolation and quarantine are triggering the thought of a geographic. Do I want change, or do I want to run away from wherever I am at the present moment? What I know is that watching “Pretend It’s a City”, on Netflix,  has me on a search for a flat in Manhattan every other night. If you haven’t watched it yet, add it to your list. I love Fran Lebowits.

I am confused also as to what I want from my own house. I still don’t know if I love it or hate it. A part of me feels such a deep connection with the history, and with the woman who lived here before us, that I would never leave. Another part of me sees beauty in every other house in the neighborhood but mine. I know it’s not about houses and architecture, it’s more about the feeling of home, about my relationship with myself as a grown-up woman and as a mother.

Mary Berry…let’s talk about her for a second. I haven’t wanted to meet someone and share with them my work since Leonard Cohen. Something about her is inspiring and safe, graceful and inviting. She is a beautiful and subtle influence in how I am cooking and sharing the food I make.

So my updates are:

– I am turning 39 on January 25th;

– I was hurt and disappointed by an agent like never before; I knew she wasn’t the right one because of the lack of respect she had shown for my work from the very beginning, and yet I pursued her, never listening to my instinct.

“Don’t send that,”

I told myself on a Friday night.

“You knew it,”

I said to myself in tears on Monday.

I got burned, but I learned the lesson. Also, thanks to her, I now have a marketing plan for my book, and I sent it to a small indie publisher in New York who has shown interest in the project. I love being able to see the positive side rather than obsessing over what didn’t work. Fingers crossed.

– Covid is at its worst here in Los Angeles, so we are completely isolated other than for the quick visit at the farmers market every Sunday morning. I know I am blessed to be able to stay safe at home, but it’s really hurting;

– I rediscovered my love for patchouli and Chanel N.5;

– My sourdough starter, Lucia, has become a force of nature;

– I am obsessed with Buddha’s Hand: I caramelize it, I bake with it, I eat it as is, with a cracker…it’s a little pricey, but definitely worth the experience. Two weeks ago I made a show around it, if you want to check it out on Instagram.

– Oh, one more thing before I let you go: I watched “The Social Dilemma” and I have deleted a lot of apps and accounts. I have also began to sleep without the phone in my room; I turn it off at night and leave it downstairs. I am sleeping more and better. I am not doing online shopping at midnight, and I have also started to read in bed again; I am reading Chandler’s The Big Sleep now.

If you have’t yet, watch the documentary on Netflix, especially if you have kids and if, like me, you are scared for the world they will inherit if we don’t implement some massive change.

That’s all. Please buy the ticket for my first Book to Table event. HERE.

I love you guys.

A special thanks to Dan and DeLauné for the trust they have in me and in my work. They are behind the BookYaYa project, and behind the beautiful Spoken Interludes I was honored enough to be part of back in 2013.