Tags: Published On: Saturday, February 27th, 2021 Comments: 15
Hi guys!
How are you? How has February been? How are you holding up to? I am not sure whether newsletters are sent at the beginning or at the end of the month, but I like the idea of checking in with you before a new month starts; I hope you do too.
First things first: I am proud, happy and honored to have signed a book deal for my cookbook and food memoir with the best publisher I could have ever found, Heliotrope Books. We were meant to work together since my first book, and finally our paths have joined.
I can’t wait to give you more details, but for now rest assured we are working on a special book, with my very own photography, amazing food and inspiring stories to come out early in 2022. Happy doesn’t quite describe the way I feel: I feel right, proud, hopeful, fulfilled, excited, terrified, and rewarded by my dedication, your dedication, and by the love the publisher feels for my story and my recipes! Thank you for rooting for me, my friends! I will give you all that I have.
Because of the amount of work I am taking on, in the months of March and April I’ll have to scale down on cooking videos, but I will take you with me backstage, along the photographic journey of every recipe that will be included in the book.
* * *
Now, what’s been happening:
I few Sundays ago, like every Sunday, I headed to the Hollywood Farmers Market.
For a while now, for safety reasons, I go by myself and I shop quickly. I miss having Catherine with me, but the positive side of going alone is that I get to have some precious time in the car, which in the past year, has been the most private I can carve out for myself.
“Stop Dragging My Heart Around” played on Tom Petty radio: my heart felt heavy, my eyes filled with tears. I am still grieving not only the loss of one person, but the loss of a feeling, of a family, of energy, of constant movement, of excitement.
I cried.
When the song ended I switched to the Lithium channel: Goo Goo Dolls’ “Iris” played.
By then, I was driving past Griffith Park and about to turn right onto Franklin Avenue. I remembered my early teens, and a sense of confusion and discomfort resurfaced. It felt as if a hundred lives had gone by.
With a simple right turn and no traffic, the blurred memories of my teens were quickly replaced by a sense of perspective.
“Look at where you were and where you are now,”
I said.”
It was a truth that tasted bittersweet. I have come a long way, and yet there is something about my past and my roots that feels unfinished. I think that’s why I wrote so many stories about my childhood in the book, in between recipes. They are the most authentic stories I have ever written.
As if that wasn’t enough of a time travel, the song that followed was “Would”, by Alice in Chains, which threw me right in the middle of one of the darkest times in my life.
The sun shone bright, sign of a winter that never was in Los Angeles.
I drove past the 101 Cafe, which has sadly closed forever; more memories resurfaced.
In between songs, I kept thinking about the spark that makes life worth living no matter where you are, no matter how much you have, no matter what you do or who you are with.
I also thought about all that I had, never had, gained, lost, built and destroyed. I still felt profound sadness for the loss of Tom and all that he represented, but I could sense the feeling beginning to change.
Recently, during a session with my therapist, we focused on this photo of mine. I was probably 6 or 7, and I remember that time as the last in my life feeling comfortable in my own skin, the last time in my life not having a concept of fitting in or not fitting in, of femininity and sexuality, of having labels attached to my being.
“I was cool,”
I told my therapist.
“But I knew I was different.”
My eyes filled with tears when I talked abut those times; they were the same tears of “Stop Dragging My Heart Around”. Another life had ended. And both lives were filled with regret.
As I turned left onto Vine Street, not far from the clothing store where I used to work in a life between the song “Would” and “Stop Dragging My Heart Around”, “American Girl” played.
My heart ached, but I also smiled this time.
“I am that girl when I cook on camera,”
I had said to my therapist toward the end of our session.
“When I cook on camera I wear the colors of “little Alice” and I am free.”
I had not thought of that, of how the past lives I mourned came back to life when I was true to myself.
If you have ever been to a Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers show, you know that “American Girl” is synonymous with closing time, with the show being over. What always followed, for those on tour with the band, was a new flight, a new city, a new stage, new characters, a new story to start, a new story that would end.
I think I am on the plane that is taking me to my new show, to my new chapter, to the new adventure.
It’s exciting and yet it hurts; it’s frightening. It feels real. It feels like life.
* * *
A few more things:
– I am making an amazing ciabatta bread these days
– Ben has received the second dose of the vaccine
– I started Clean Language therapy again and it’s helping immensely
– My grandmother turned 99 this month, and she is in the process of being vaccinated
– I am into British baking, but that is no news
– We are watching a very cool French show, Call my Agent; the new Sofia Loren’s move is utterly beautiful and powerful, and I am really enjoying Stanley Tucci’s “Searching for Italy”, on CNN.
Ok, that’s a lot. That’s all for now.
Love you guys, see you in the kitchen
Alice
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YAYYYYY!
Hi Alice
What is Clean Language Therapy, exactly?
Congratulations on the book deal!
Oh Alice!!! All you have shared here brings up so many emotions! Wow!!! First of all CONGRATULATIONS! I had no doubt that the right person would eventually appear to publish your book. Sounds like the universe found the perfect match. I’m so happy for you!
I completely resonate with all the mixed feelings you’re feeling. It’s so hard to move on when we lose the people and experiences in our lives that were so much a part of us… so very precious. I’m having a very hard time with that myself.
It’s true that we often don’t fully appreciate what we have until it’s gone. I keep trying to remember that so that I can try to be more fully present in the joy filled moments when they happen, especially since lately they are much harder to come by.
Thank you for being so open and thoughtful… thank you for sharing so much of yourself. You have a lot going on in your life and it sounds like it’s about to get even busier, so please be sure to take care of you!
Your friends love you and want to see you happy, and certainly don’t want your joy to turn into pressure and stress. It makes sense that you would dial back on all your videos and posts.
You’ve given us so much… now we will have your book to look forward to and I hope that by the time it is released, it will be safe for you to do a book tour. It would be so wonderful to share in your success and be able to give you a hug!
Much Love,
Beth
Oh this resonates so much with me lady. Mucho congratulations on your book deal! You deserve every success and will achieve it.
I’ve taken that drive and turns as you did in HWood. Felt the same melancholy pull from ghosts gone by. LA isn’t the same anymore. Cahuenga and all my barfly nights at my usual haunts. I’m a mother now of a 17teen year old. Time flew but in the right direction.
We gave LA one final chance and during a pandemic, brave or stupid? Life goes on… my mother passed away at 87 and my new husband left me.
My family and I are moving back to England to start a new life again.
I will be looking forward to your amazing cooking book!
Love to you and family.
Jacqueline
Fantabulous can’t wait for the book.
congratulations you certainly deserve it!
Fantabulous can’t wait for the book.
congratulations you certainly deserve it!
You are an amazing, loving, genuine, kind, talented and inspirational person and mother. I am so grateful to have stumbled onto your Instagram postings and now I am a happy “follower” of yours. Thank you for always making me smile and remember the important things in life. Life isn’t easy–I really appreciate your courage and honesty .
-Lise
P.S. I love your taste in music and tv too!
Alice, I’m so proud of you. The book deal is amazing and the culmination of a lot of hard work. Congratulations! Can’t wait!
Very impactful and thought-provoking. Keep on keepin’ on, Alice. And congratulations on your book deal!
You are an amazing, loving, genuine, kind, talented and inspirational person and mother. I am so grateful to have stumbled onto your Instagram postings and now I am a happy “follower” of yours. Thank you for always making me smile and remember the important things in life. Life isn’t easy–I really appreciate your courage and honesty .
-Lise
P.S. I love your taste in music and tv too!
Thank-you Alice. Thank-you……so much.
Lizzy xx
Hi Alice,
So happy to hear about your book deal. You really do write and cook from the heart and that is the difference that you bring. All food should be made and consumed with love being the main ingredient.
When my wife makes my tea it tastes better and I hope when I make her tea that hers tastes better.
I just discovered today that Benmont also played with another friend of mine, Peter Case, it’s so strange that all these six degrees of separation exist, I mean I guess that its not completely unexpected since he is a fantastic keyboard player. Jeremy who played drums on his first solo LP is from my hometown and was in my band when he was 15!
Hi Alice, congratulations on your book deal — so exciting and well deserved! And thank you for a wonderful newsletter! I am so impressed with how consistently great your Instagram shows are, and I love the online community you have created. Thank you for bringing us along on your journey.
So many emotions, music has a way of taking us to so many different levels.
My son’s first concert was Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers at Shoreline, just south of SF for the “Wildflowers” tour. It was a great show!
I love Alice in Chains! My favorite 90s band! The video for “Would?” was shot by the fabulous Rocky! I love his work. I still listen to AIC and miss Layne so much. What a great voice!
You are so lucky to still have your grandmama! Thats great!
Keep doing all that you do dear Alice, you are soo loved!
Thank you for the update. I don’t have Igram only FB so when you are able to post there, I always watch/read it. I limit my social media. I’m happy to learn you are able to fulfill you dreams on your terms. Congratulations!!
rosie
PS: pray your family back home stays safe from covid as well as you and yours in states.