{"id":8546,"date":"2022-03-31T08:00:40","date_gmt":"2022-03-31T15:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/?p=8546"},"modified":"2022-03-30T22:32:28","modified_gmt":"2022-03-31T05:32:28","slug":"spring-sciatica-and-working-underwater","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/spring-sciatica-and-working-underwater\/","title":{"rendered":"Spring, Sciatica, and Working Underwater"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Hi guys!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

March has come and gone, and for most of it I did a lot of “underwater work”. I stole this paraphrased quote from Becoming<\/em>, Michelle Obama’s biography that I have finally finished reading. It’s one of the most beautiful books I have ever read, and it somewhat encouraged the opening of a door for me, a door into new adulthood, into a new form of radical acceptance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I felt sometimes like a swan on a lake, knowing that my job was in part to glide and appear serene, while underwater I never stopped pedaling my legs.” <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Page 329 of Becoming<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was finally able to finish a book because I was sick for a whole week, not with Covid, but with a severe respiratory infection that took me out completely, and that took my voice away for a while: “Papa,” Catherine said to Ben one morning, when I could only whisper a few words, “Mama talks like you now.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was so sick that I did not work, cook, or looked at the phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On top of being sick, I have also had sciatica, which slowed me down even more. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was one of the most beautiful weeks I have had in a while. Getting sick and unplugging were gifts I didn’t know I wanted. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

See, I work, work, work, I never stop, I never breathe, I never go out in the garden, I don’t enjoy, I rush, I eat standing up for lunch in between takes for a new real, I plan a new book, I promote the one that is out, I cook, I take care of Catherine and Ben…I forget about myself and I forget about what’s around me. I am not present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want, want, want and I am incapable of enjoying what I have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One day, after being in the dark all day, I wanted to see the sunlight, so I went out on the patio wrapped in a warm blanket and sat on a chair that faced the back of Griffith Park. I began to notice little things about my garden that I had never noticed before, things that I loved. When I walked back into the house I began to notice things about Ben that I had not noticed before, things that I loved. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Forced to pause, I created space. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

March has been a month of planting seeds for something new: new relationships, new possibilities, new journeys, new teachings, new obstacles, new plans. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

March has been a month of new start as in the consideration of accepting that my career may never be what I want it to be, and that that has nothing to do with whether I am talented or not, that my idea of success may have to change; that once more, I may have to surrender and stop fighting.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know whether it’s because spring has come, or because I am starting to embrace my new age, but I can glimpse at a sense of new on the horizon, new perception of my body, new ideas, new options, and new intents. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in considering the possibility of grieving the want, I can taste some kind of freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Updates:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was guest on Kitchen Counter Podcast<\/a>, and a short essay of mine on sustainable buying will be published on Clean Plates<\/a>. On April 21st I will be guest on Wake Up with Marci<\/a>, on WLNY, and I have added a new date at the Hollywood Farmers Market, on May 1st, where I will be selling and signing hard copies of my cookbook, as well as sharing a few new samples of my recipes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am using a new shampoo and conditioner, Prose, and loving it. I am also wearing my hair naturally wavy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am reading a beautiful book, Unsolaced, by Gretel Ehrlich<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am listening to Tara Brach a lot, these days.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love you guys, see you next month.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

xo<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alice<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi guys! March has come and gone, and for most of it I did a lot of “underwater work”. I stole this paraphrased quote from Becoming, Michelle Obama’s biography that I have finally finished reading. It’s one of the most beautiful books I have ever read, and it somewhat encouraged the opening of a door for me, a door into new adulthood, into a new… <\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8550,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3052],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8546","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-essays"],"yoast_head":"\nSpring, Sciatica, and Working Underwater - Alice Carbone Tench<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/alicecarbone.com\/spring-sciatica-and-working-underwater\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Spring, Sciatica, and Working Underwater - Alice Carbone Tench\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi guys! March has come and gone, and for most of it I did a lot of “underwater work”. I stole this paraphrased quote from Becoming, Michelle Obama’s biography that I have finally finished reading. It’s one of the most beautiful books I have ever read, and it somewhat encouraged the opening of a door for me, a door into new adulthood, into a new... 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