{"id":8158,"date":"2021-04-27T15:11:41","date_gmt":"2021-04-27T22:11:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.alicecarbone.com\/?p=8158"},"modified":"2021-04-27T15:12:59","modified_gmt":"2021-04-27T22:12:59","slug":"isabelle-huppert-snap-peas-life-ahead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/isabelle-huppert-snap-peas-life-ahead\/","title":{"rendered":"Empty Hangers, Isabelle Huppert, and Life Ahead"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hi guys!<\/p>\n<p>How are you?<\/p>\n<p>I started taking notes for this newsletter during the second week of the month, I am writing this on April 26th, my 11th Los Angeles anniversary, and so much has changed since the original notes&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>One of the first things I had in mind was a question about life before the pandemic, one that we discussed on a recent show: what did we do before Covid? I mean, what did we like to do?<\/p>\n<p>When I asked myself that question, I was driving back from getting baking props for the dessert section of the cookbook, I hadn\u2019t run errands in a while and I felt a stranger in the outside world.<\/p>\n<p>I couldn&#8217;t remember how life was when we moved from Tarzana to Los Feliz, in October of 2019; we never had the time to get used to the new neighborhood, to new grocery stores, to having friends nearby, to actually start living our new life, so maybe that&#8217;s why I don&#8217;t remember? I don&#8217;t remember the feeling of going to shows, for example; I remember the last one being Patti Smith, but that&#8217;s pretty much it. I don&#8217;t remember the feeling of a restaurant with friends, of running errands and seeing my therapist, of doing things; Catherine wasn&#8217;t going to school yet, and my work has always been pretty much a solitary one, so much so that my senses are now confused about what happened, and what it is now.<\/p>\n<p>I have been feeling confused about things that happened to me a lot lately, how I completely rejected their occurrence for years, finding justifications, cover-ups, excuses.<\/p>\n<p>Can one year change us so much?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Later that same day, I did some window shopping for spring. I remembered the time when, with little money and several jobs, I&#8217;d find the time to shop along the Santa Monica promenade, and if I had some extra money I would buy something from Urban Outfitters, which was pricey for me.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0I loved shopping in Santa Monica,\u00a0with a small budget, and yet a big reward.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I can\u2019t find the time today.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0And I don&#8217;t know what I like anymore, at least not as surely as I liked Urban\u00a0Outfitters in 2011.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>On July 31st 2013 I wrote this in an essay:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I have given away all of my Lolita dresses in this past year, and I am not planning on buying new clothes for a while; empty hangers help me meditate on what kind of person I want to be in the morning.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I remember quoting this quote sometimes in between then and now. And today I find myself quoting it again.<\/p>\n<p>I guess it\u2019s a cycle. A cycle of change, of aging, of growing up.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_8161\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-8161\" style=\"width: 183px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-8161 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.alicecarbone.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/isabelle-hupert.jpg?resize=183%2C275\" alt=\"\" width=\"183\" height=\"275\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/isabelle-hupert.jpg?w=183&amp;ssl=1 183w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/isabelle-hupert.jpg?resize=150%2C225&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 183px) 100vw, 183px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-8161\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Isabelle Huppert<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>These days I want to look French and stylish like Isabelle Huppert, but a month ago I was wearing colors like 6-year old me, and all I looked for were purple and yellow cardigans.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&#8220;What do I want to look like? What woman do I want to be?&#8221; <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">I keep asking myself these questions, confused in between a purchase and a return, between the comfort of wearing a mask and hiding in my house, and the exciting discomfort of life out there&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>With my therapist, we have been working a lot on what the constant positive traits of my personality and style are, so that I stop focusing only on what I can&#8217;t see in the mirror, on what is still a blank space, on what is still blurred.<\/p>\n<p>What a month this has been! Fully vaccinated and hopefully a few months away from hugging my parents. Fully vaccinated and unsure about what my boundaries are, fully vaccinated&#8230;and with a foot in the month of June, when summer will start and I will wear sleeveless dresses again.<\/p>\n<p>Now, a few updates:<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; We have 9 photos remaining to shoot, then it&#8217;s time for editing before the book goes to print<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; I got my second shot of Moderna vaccine on April 14th<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_8162\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-8162\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-8162 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.alicecarbone.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=90%2C90&amp;ssl=1 90w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=1024%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=1060%2C1060&amp;ssl=1 1060w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=550%2C550&amp;ssl=1 550w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=500%2C500&amp;ssl=1 500w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?resize=1080%2C1080&amp;ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/call-my-agent.jpg?w=1200&amp;ssl=1 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-8162\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Call my Agent<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Call_My_Agent!\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">&#8220;<em>Call my Agent!<\/em>&#8221; or &#8220;<em>Dix pour cent<\/em><\/a>&#8221; on Netflix has me obsessed with Paris, re-learning French, with high heels, <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Camille_Cottin\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Camille Cottin<\/a>, and with every purse <a href=\"https:\/\/www.jerome-dreyfuss.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">J\u00e9r\u00f4me Dreyfuss<\/a> has ever designed.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; I hugged my friends Marthe and Tessa and it felt amazing<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; I discovered that I love snap peas<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Seeing Trent Reznor win the Oscar for Soul filled me with joy, and Tyler Perry&#8217;s speech made me think a lot about how I want to be with those I disagree with, with those I can&#8217;t respect, with those I believe dangerous&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; All I know is that 11 years ago, when I arrived in America, I wouldn&#8217;t have been able to deal with life like I do today, not perfectly and not really gracefully, but decently enough to look at myself in the mirror and smile, with to without new clothes to wear for spring.<\/p>\n<p>See you next month, and don&#8217;t forget that <em>Instagram to Table<\/em> goes live every Monday at 5pm on Instagram Live!<\/p>\n<p>xo<\/p>\n<p>Alice<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hi guys! How are you? I started taking notes for this newsletter during the second week of the month, I am writing this on April 26th, my 11th Los Angeles anniversary, and so much has changed since the original notes&#8230; One of the first things I had in mind was a question about life before the pandemic, one that we discussed on a recent show:&#8230; <\/p>\n<p class=\"more\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/alicecarbone.com\/staging\/2381\/isabelle-huppert-snap-peas-life-ahead\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8159,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3052],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-essays"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Empty Hangers, Isabelle Huppert, and Life Ahead - Alice Carbone Tench<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/alicecarbone.com\/isabelle-huppert-snap-peas-life-ahead\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Empty Hangers, Isabelle Huppert, and Life Ahead - Alice Carbone Tench\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi guys! How are you? I started taking notes for this newsletter during the second week of the month, I am writing this on April 26th, my 11th Los Angeles anniversary, and so much has changed since the original notes&#8230; One of the first things I had in mind was a question about life before the pandemic, one that we discussed on a recent show:... 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How are you? I started taking notes for this newsletter during the second week of the month, I am writing this on April 26th, my 11th Los Angeles anniversary, and so much has changed since the original notes&#8230; One of the first things I had in mind was a question about life before the pandemic, one that we discussed on a recent show:... 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